Are you able to realise your potential?

We all have potential, latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness.  Of course, there is always the possibility to achieve more in our lives or to live a life in which we feel content.  Potential is a future-focused word and, yet, we take all sorts of self-limiting beliefs about ourselves into that future space.  So much so, that we can, at times, self-sabotage ourselves or go through life ‘as if the brakes were on’ to the achievement of our hopes and dreams for the future.  One of the keys to realising your potential is to understand your past, and the ways that you might limit yourself either consciously or unconsciously.

In my work as a coach and psychotherapist, I work with individuals in ways which allows them to mentally ‘travel through time’.  Clients come to me with issues they face right now, in the present, because they are often facing issues or upsets which are a problem to them.  Sometimes, they lack hope for the future or are facing unhelpful patterns of behaviour, for instance, experiencing high levels of anxiety surrounding the performance of activities (like public speaking), or recurring problems with working relationship.  This is particularly true of some successful women who experience Imposter Syndrome feelings i.e. they feel that, at some point, they will be discovered as a ‘fraud’.

Many of my clients are highly respected and successful and, yet, this is not matched by how they feel on the inside.  A number have a deep sense (at times stored as a blind spot) of not been valued for just being themselves.  Occasionally, they appear locked into memories or feelings from the past.   Indeed, Attachment Theory, developed through the work of Donald Winnicott, John Bowlby et al, points to long-term self-esteem and relationship issues that arise if children do not grow up in a home where they feel emotionally secure.  The spectre from the past is never far away and this can block feelings of contentment and of being ‘enough’.  At times, this insecurity can also promote a sense of fear that any success might all be taken away. 

Through listening carefully, asking questions and making observations from within a strong working alliance, I place key emphasis in my work on growing a client’s self-awareness.  My aim is that a client starts to process and understand their past from a new perspective and so updates some of the key memories that influence their belief system which are stored away.  By gaining insight into the imprint the past has left, clients do not feel so ‘controlled’ by it or want to ‘escape from themselves’.  Indeed, the past can form an ‘internal prison’, if left unobserved, in which unconscious dynamics of not feeling ‘good enough’ or overwhelming feelings of shame may mean that there a holding back or, at times, a ‘self-sabotage’ of success.  This self-destructive behaviour is dynamic and can occur outside of conscious awareness.  

I see my core work as facilitating the client to gain an understanding of how they are shaped and influenced by the past.  At times, this may mean working through outdated beliefs or rules that are self-limiting.  We work together to understand the past in order to create the best environment for working with potential and the hope for the future.  As part of this process, I like to explore with my clients their ‘true self’, the part of them that feels unique, authentic and full of possibilities.

My work is influenced by many theories, ideas and contains strong, ethical practice.  I never forget that I am working with a unique human being and I respond to the specific needs of each person, with a view to untapping potential.

 Using reflection space to examine your life

 In these times of enforced isolation, for some individuals, with the health risks of Covid 19, there may be more space for self-reflection.  At these times, there is great value in considering your own potential and how you might hold yourself back.  One of my favourite quotes, is the one by Socrates, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living’.  Set out below are some simple questions that are designed to help you examine your life and gain insight into yourself, by understanding your future aspirations, and what might hinder you in achieving your potential.

• What is the essence of you?
• What is it, that you dream of becoming?
• What additional skills and knowledge do you need to achieve your aspirations?  How will you acquire them?
• How do you try to escape from your thoughts?  Why?
• What are the patterns of behaviour in your life that either serve you well or cause you problems?
• Does the current way  in which you live your life reflect your essence and/or aspirations?  What needs to change? 

These questions are ideas to stimulate your thinking about what lies beneath the surface of your conscious awareness, so that you develop a deeper level of insight into yourself and your potential.  The next steps are then to probe your responses, further deepen your insight and to form a flexible action plan.

If you would like to explore your potential further with me then I can be contacted at margaretwalshcoach@gmail.com.  I am also happy to discuss any aspects of your personal development, or the next steps in your working life, if your job/career has been impacted by Covid 19, or in other ways.  I offer a 45-minute consultation, free of charge, so that you can experience and assess whether the way I work is right for you (with no obligation to commit to further work together).  I work online using either Skype or Zoom and on the telephone.