When you think about retirement, what comes to mind?  Is it having lots of time to spend, in ways that bring you joy?  Consider, how might it feel to be retired, particularly if you have worked in a role which formed a key part of your identity?  Who are you when you no longer have a job title which signals who you are to yourself and others? 

 

These factors are rarely considered when approaching retirement.  Typically, ‘preparation for retirement’ articles and videos address finances and whether you have a sufficient pension pot to allow you retire, and to support your retirement plans.  Yet the changes in identity and lifestyle are enormous and, arguably, more significant.  Work can consume us and define us.  The Philosopher, Jean-Paul Satre reminds us that ‘Existence precedes essence.’  In many ways, we can lose sight of our true self in our day-to-day working and family lives.  Retirement offers an opportunity to reconnect  with a deeper sense of identity and purpose in the world.   This article explores some of the ways to prepare emotionally for retirement, so that you step into this next stage in life with greater awareness of how to live a purposeful life and one which feels right for you. 

 

Understanding change and transition

 

With the advent of retirement, there will be a date when employment ends and retirement begins.  This may be formally recognised and marked and an individual is then regarded as ‘retired.’  It suggests both an ending and a beginning in a neat sequence.   However, this does not allow for the complexity of the transition involved. An inner processing is required by the individual who is retiring, as they adjust to their changing role.   Bridges’ Transition Model describes the three psychological stages that individuals go through when faced with change and is summarised below regarding retirement:

 

1.      Endings

 

It is important to acknowledge the small endings contained within the shift to retirement.  For example:

 

·         Your status in the workplace.

·         The social connections with work colleagues.

·         Being a part of an organisation or institution. 

·         A sense of fulfilment and accomplishment that work can provide.

·         The income and benefits that came with your job.

 

Working through the feelings associated with the endings that matter most to you requires careful attention.  Some surprising feelings may emerge and these require processing to decide what to leave behind and what you might carry with you. Such choices may include key social connections and perhaps  routines you have found helpful.  It is useful to notice any emotional resistance to retirement.  Does it connect to other feelings e.g. a recognition of growing older and the ageing process? 

 

2.      Neutral zone

 

In this phase, there is often an ‘in-between’ time when the job has gone, but a new way of living in retirement is yet to be operational.  This is a psychologically active period and is at the core of the transitional process.  It can be quite a turbulent time with confusion about purpose and role in life that can feel depressing.  However, this neutral zone is a seedbed for new beginnings and therefore needs a spaciousness in which all possibilities, creativity and innovative ideas may  come to life and be nurtured to then flourish. This can be a time to try out new ideas e.g. attending various courses; expanding hobbies and developing your interests; travelling; volunteering; or establishing different exercise routines.  It is quite possible to occupy a transition phase for a few months or even years, and from this to work through your emerging identity and to gradually achieve the balance that feels right for you. 

 

Working 1:1 with a qualified coach or Mindfulness practitioner can be beneficial for those in this neutral zone.  It is not unusual to feel stuck or overwhelmed by the choices out there and this can lead to feelings of depression or frustration.  So, taking time to connect with and work through these feelings is one of the best ways to design a life that meets your aspirations in the next phase of life.   Making and taking the time to be available to retreat from the world and to consider the big questions associated with our emotional preparedness for retirement is a  beneficial short-term investment towards your long-term future happiness.

3.      New beginnings

 

Beginnings often involve a release of energy in a new direction.  As part of  this process, new insights and values can form through proper exploration of how to live a meaningful and balanced life.  This can strengthen your sense of identity for your next life phase.  The renowned Psychotherapist, Carl Jung, wrote about the first stages of life being externally directed and reinforced by external validation.  The second phase has a stronger, internal orientation when we have the wisdom and insights to become who we were meant to be, a process referred to as ‘individuation’.  This process can be useful to hold in mind when exploring the question ‘Who might I become?’ 

 

As the world changes and you grow older, there may be other changes to work through, which involve further transitions.  This process of learning and evolving can mean that life is lived in much more conscious and deliberate ways, rather than on autopilot.

 

Clarifying your purpose to create an emotionally smooth transition to retirement

 

There are several coaching tools that are helpful to clarify one’s purpose.  For instance, Ikigai is a Japanese concept that, through a framework of questions, facilitates insights into an individual’s sense of purpose and reason for living.  It enables a deeper connection to that which lies  at the core of each person and could benefit both them and the wider world.  There is always untapped potential that might be released in retirement.

 

If you would like to work on your preparation for retirement then there is a range of supportive offerings available and these include:

 

·         1:1 coaching, to work through a transition to retirement plan tailored for you.

·         1:1 mindfulness coaching to connect to your deeper feelings and aspirations.

·         Group work for individuals approaching retirement to explore issues as part of a like-minded community.

·         Workshops for organisations to inform staff on the psychological aspects around retirement.  These can be tailored to meet identified needs.

·         A 3-night retreat is planned in March 2025 in a superb location in Devon run by two highly skilled and innovative professionals.  This retreat offers time in an inspiring setting and expertise to support you to work through the issues faced when making the emotional transition to retirement.

 

About the Coaches/Facilitators

 

Margaret Walsh is Level-7 qualified Executive Coach (Member of the Association for Coaching) and qualified Psychotherapist (Registered Member of the British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy).  She is also an approved Executive Coach with the College of Policing.  Margaret has worked as a coach for over twenty years and has facilitated her many clients through change, with consistently excellent results and feedback.  Working, at psychological depth, with clients in holistic ways is at the core of her working style. 

Kate Peel is a highly skilled Mindfulness Coach.  Kate has a background in the health sector and has worked as a senior leader delivering large scale projects. She understands the pressures faced by individuals in the workplace and how work and career can consume our sense of self.   Her style is warm and nurturing.  She encourages individuals on an inner quest to connect with their feelings and to a create deeper sense of presence in the world.

Both Margaret and Kate are interested in enabling people to  strengthen their affiliation  and connection with the natural world. They achieve this through learning immersed in nature and via reflections that draw on the natural world… all based in a setting  soothed by nature. 

 

Please contact Margaret via margaretwalshcoach@gmail.com or via her website if you would like to find out more about any of the offerings described in this article or wish to discuss your unique needs.